ELUL 5781: moon of reflection, belonging, & becoming

August / September 2021

Welcome to Elul, sweet friends. Rosh Chodesh Elul (the new moon/first day of the Jewish month of Elul) marks exactly 40 days until Yom Kippur. The letters of the word ‘Elul’ – aleph, lamed, vav, lamed– is an acronym of “Ani l’dodi v’dodi li,” “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine” from the Song of Songs. This phrase is often woven into wedding liturgy, understood as a declaration of commitment in partnership with another human. I know I’m not the only one who bristles at the word “mine” in the context of romantic love and yet, I have learned to love these words as an anchor or guide for the month of Elul, a month in which we are charged to turn inward and begin the processes of teshuvah, the work of reflection, repair, and returning to ourselves. This work can be fertile ground for self-aversion and self-criticism;  many of us are more skilled at sharpening our knives than softening and embracing ourselves. There is wisdom in the rhythm of our calendar that we begin this work in the month whose very name reminds us that no matter how many mistakes we have made, no matter how far we’ve gone, we can always come home to love. This phrase carries a kind of remedy for our longing, it is an affirmation of belonging. Elul is a mirror, or maybe more like a moon, illuminating and reflecting, reminding us of our own radiance. Ani l’dodi v’dodi li: I see the moon and the moon sees me, I am beloved and the Beloved loves me. This is not “self-improvement work,” this is about accepting the possibility that there might not be anything wrong with us. 

We begin the month of Elul with the very first blast of the shofar. We are also guided to hear the shofar every day of Elul with the intention of waking up a little bit more each day leading up to the high holy days. The Maharal of Prague said, “All the month of Elul, before eating and sleeping, a person should look into (their) soul and search (their) deeds…” Chasidic teachers name the month of Elul as et ratzon, a time of willingness – we choose to turn and look, to mine the depths, to do the work of Cheshbon haNefesh –  literally the “accounting of the soul” or spiritual accounting. Virgo season is on the horizon. It’s time to look at what needs our attention and healing, with love and kindness, and do a very Virgo thing: inner bookkeeping. 

This is a good month for beginning to ask, “where does it hurt?”  Are you carrying heavy rocks in the pocket of your heart? Are there ways you have hurt others or been hurt that you are ready to tend to? Are there letters you need to write (which you may or may not send) to help move towards healing? What are the places that need love and attention in relationship with yourself, with loved ones, with larger community, with earth, with G!d/HaShem/The One of Many Names? This month, you can spend some time taking stock of the past year, reflecting on the various realms of your life: relationships, community, work, play, body, healing, creativity, love, sex, spirit, earth, justice, money, learning, daily practices, etc. You can do this alone, in your journal, with friends, in a group, with your therapist, by a body of water, for one day, many days, every day. Take your time. There’s a reason we spend a whole month doing this.  In this self-accounting practice, remember to come back to the anchoring theme of Elul: returning to love. Hold this process with love. Accountability is an act of love. We are softening our hearts with radical self-acceptance so we move into the Days of Awe open and ready. 

There are other prescribed practices for Elul that I have found supportive. 

PSALM 27: We are guided to recite Psalm 27 every day in Elul. This Psalm is an anchor and guiding light, a remedy for fear, and a daily practice as we train for the intense spiritual Olympics that are the Days of Awe. The Psalm begins, “God is my light and my life; whom shall I fear? God is the foundation of my life; whom shall I dread?” In this psalm, we ask to dwell in the house of the Divine, we ask for shelter, we seek to remember that we are always living in G-d’s house, that we already belong. If these words and specific psalm doesn’t resonate for you, you can choose a poem or piece of liturgy that similarly buoys and fortifies you, a touchstone for the month, to read every morning. This is also a time to connect with our sacred purpose and what we are here to do, which feels especially potent and urgent in these uncertain and intense times. A few years ago, I took on this piece of a poem by adrienne maree brown as my daily Psalm 27 practice, and offer it you as a possibility for the month of Elul: 

i am not afraid

of what i came here to do

i’m made of stardust

we are not afraid

of what we’re called now to do

we’re all made of god

HONORING/CONNECTING WITH THE DEAD: It is customary to visit the graves of your beloved dead during the month of Elul. Since many of us cannot physically do that, we can find other ways to connect with our loved ones who have died. Consider creating a space in your home to put up photos or special objects that remind you of your beloved dead, which you can keep up through Sukkot. You may want to find an outdoor space-  a tree or a bench in a park – which you can visit and bring a stone each time, as if you were visiting a grave. Perhaps you want to connect with a specific ancestor of blood or of spirit, or maybe you just spend time outside, being open to what comes.  For me, this is another practice of widening my web of support and connection and even doing reflection and repair work with the people I love who are dead. Our relationships with the dead continue, but obviously change,  and it can be profoundly healing to start or continue conversations with those who have passed. 

There is an Ashkenazi tradition of making Soul Candles for the Days of Awe in which people walk and measure the length of wick around the graves of their dead and make candles from those wicks. Many of us aren’t able to visit the physical graves of our ancestors or beloved dead, so instead you might want to recite their names while wrapping the wick or walk around trees. Our friend Jonah Aline Daniel of Narrow Bridge Candles offers a Soul Candles Ritual Guide which you can find here.

SHOFAR: PRACTICE WAKING UP: We are instructed to hear the call of the shofar daily  in the month of Elul. If you don’t have access to blow or hear the shofar, what sound can be your daily shofar? This year, you could choose a sound like birdsong or the sound of children’s voices, your spoon clinking in your morning coffee or tea, you could ring a bell or blow a kazoo, or find a recording of a shofar and listen each morning. One year, I took on the practice of listening to Democracy Now! as a daily shofar blast – thanks Amy Goodman! Take a moment to “listen” to something each day and ask yourself, “What is this calling me to awaken to?” 

OTHER RESOURCES FOR ELUL

• My playlist for ELUL: i’ll be your mirror
• I loved this episode of Still Processing on apologies with Jenna Wortham and Wesley Morris
• New Synagogue Project Elul playlist 
• Beyond Survival: strategies and stories from the transformative justice movement edited by Ejeris Dixon and Leah Lakshmi Piepzna- Samarasinha
• Dreaming Accountability and The Four Parts of Accountability, by Mia Mingus
• Finding Awe in the Unravel : How to High Holy Days in a Pandemic ~ I wrote this last year, but it is still relevant and full of other practices and wisdom for Elul and the Days of Awe 
• This is Real and You are Completely Unprepared by Rabbi Alan Lew
• Days of Awe: Reimagining Jewishness in Solidarity with Palestinians by Atalia Omer
• The Days Between by Marcia Falk
• Spiritual Accounting instructions
• 40 Days of Teshuvah toolkit from JFREJ

A portion of proceeds will go towards the Palestinian Youth Movement and the Eastern Woodlands Rematriation Project.

• Pomegranate: for bursting joy & an abundance of mitzvot/goodness
• Apple: for cultivating an orchard of love within; strengthens capacity for heart work
• Garlic: for ancestral protection, more aliveness, & being yourself
• Rue: for releasing what doesn’t serve you, old stories and patterns
• Rosemary: for remembering & being remembered; for ancestral guidance, rigor & accountability 
• Willow: for letting go; gentle support if you find yourself in a river of grief
• Ruby: for finding holy ground wherever you are
• Emerald: for being held unconditionally
• Rose Quartz: for self-love and forgiveness
• New Moon Mikveh: a shofar call by a river;  for collectively supported release, healing, joy, & love; for remembering connection
• Honey: for sweetening the spirit & the heart as it cracks open

✸UPCOMING✸ 

❧  JEWISH PROTECTION MAGIC  ❧

Three week immersion @ Herban Cura
October & November 2021
Dates and registration info coming soon!

May this Elul bring you into deeper connection with yourself and may you have all the support you need to deepen into the work of reflection, repair, and renewal. 

With love, 
Dori